I am a transsexual woman.
I need to love my body.
I am a singer.
I need to sing.
I am a writer.
I need to write.
I am a student.
I need to study.
I am a Buddhist.
I need to chant.
I am a wife.
I need my baby to be happy.
I am a teacher.
I need to learn as much as I can.
I am a work in progress.
I need to stay positive and believe in myself.
I am a White person.
I need to fight against racism.
I am a seeker of the truth.
I need to let go of my attachment to lies.
I have the capacity to be happy.
I need to fight for that happiness, and never give up on it.
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Liturgy For the Day After They Announced the End of the World
It's beautiful.
It's not ours.
Your stupid smart phone
Times a billion
Is destroying us.
Your dirty car
Times a billion
Is destroying us.
Your damned lies
Times a billion
Are destroying us.
It's beautiful.
Can't you see?
The sun, golden!
The river, dancing!
The trees, like shamans!
Waving!
Embracing!
Staying!
Swaying!
Us.
We're beautiful
We don't even see it.
The air.
You can't see it.
Still, it's beautiful.
Dance in it.
Glow in it.
Love it.
Embrace it.
God damn it,
Save us.
Love us.
Love me.
I love you.
Accept this gift.
Give it back.
Give it forward.
It's beautiful.
It's not ours.
Your stupid smart phone
Times a billion
Is destroying us.
Your dirty car
Times a billion
Is destroying us.
Your damned lies
Times a billion
Are destroying us.
It's beautiful.
Can't you see?
The sun, golden!
The river, dancing!
The trees, like shamans!
Waving!
Embracing!
Staying!
Swaying!
Us.
We're beautiful
We don't even see it.
The air.
You can't see it.
Still, it's beautiful.
Dance in it.
Glow in it.
Love it.
Embrace it.
God damn it,
Save us.
Love us.
Love me.
I love you.
Accept this gift.
Give it back.
Give it forward.
It's beautiful.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Damn!
Damn! Damn!
I missed the bus now.
Damn! Damn!
I missed two busses.
Standing here in the snow outside, I
Know that I will be late to work now.
Can't you see me pelt down the sidewalk
Praying for the change of signals?
Damn! Damn!
I missed that damned bus!
Damn! Damn!
There's two together!
Damn! Damn!
Maybe the second one?
Damn! Damn!
No, the second one dashed by.
Snow flakes reach their destinations.
Sun is blocked by clouds of snow.
Under the snow there must be crocus.
Under the ground there must be tulips.
I can't see them, they must be there.
All I'm seeing is the falling snow.
Damn it! When's the springtime coming?
Damn it! When's the next bus coming?
Damn! Damn!
I missed that bus now.
Damn! Damn!
There's a van getting towed now.
Damn! Damn!
I feel sad for them, but
Damn! Damn!
Here comes the bus now.
I missed the bus now.
Damn! Damn!
I missed two busses.
Standing here in the snow outside, I
Know that I will be late to work now.
Can't you see me pelt down the sidewalk
Praying for the change of signals?
Damn! Damn!
I missed that damned bus!
Damn! Damn!
There's two together!
Damn! Damn!
Maybe the second one?
Damn! Damn!
No, the second one dashed by.
Snow flakes reach their destinations.
Sun is blocked by clouds of snow.
Under the snow there must be crocus.
Under the ground there must be tulips.
I can't see them, they must be there.
All I'm seeing is the falling snow.
Damn it! When's the springtime coming?
Damn it! When's the next bus coming?
Damn! Damn!
I missed that bus now.
Damn! Damn!
There's a van getting towed now.
Damn! Damn!
I feel sad for them, but
Damn! Damn!
Here comes the bus now.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Confession #2
I need to sing.
That is how I'm built.
I've sung since I was little
And that was a long time ago.
I need to sing.
When I don't do it intentionally
My soul will sing to me.
My ears will latch on to any song
And I will sing it back to myself
Until the next song comes along.
I need to sing,
But as I say so often,
I hate my voice.
My voice is counter to who I am.
My voice sings in a way that
No longer sounds like me,
No longer communicates my soul
But is what the voice that I have can do.
I need to sing,
So I sing in other ways.
I sing through my computer keyboard.
I sing by smiling and walking a little faster
In the morning down the street
To the bus stop.
I sing by telling my sweetie
That I love her
Over and over
Every five minutes
To the point where I'm annoying.
I need to sing, so
I sing ridiculous songs,
Letting the humor shine my light,
The irony itself twisting my pain
Into a lopsided smile.
I need to sing
Because there's too much
That can't be expressed in any other way.
I need to sing
Because I know that the universe resonates
To the sound of a singing voice.
I need to sing
Because I also need to dance
With you
And singing as you dance
Is the best music.
That is how I'm built.
I've sung since I was little
And that was a long time ago.
I need to sing.
When I don't do it intentionally
My soul will sing to me.
My ears will latch on to any song
And I will sing it back to myself
Until the next song comes along.
I need to sing,
But as I say so often,
I hate my voice.
My voice is counter to who I am.
My voice sings in a way that
No longer sounds like me,
No longer communicates my soul
But is what the voice that I have can do.
I need to sing,
So I sing in other ways.
I sing through my computer keyboard.
I sing by smiling and walking a little faster
In the morning down the street
To the bus stop.
I sing by telling my sweetie
That I love her
Over and over
Every five minutes
To the point where I'm annoying.
I need to sing, so
I sing ridiculous songs,
Letting the humor shine my light,
The irony itself twisting my pain
Into a lopsided smile.
I need to sing
Because there's too much
That can't be expressed in any other way.
I need to sing
Because I know that the universe resonates
To the sound of a singing voice.
I need to sing
Because I also need to dance
With you
And singing as you dance
Is the best music.
Bricks
Note: This was written yesterday.
The bricks you amble down
Take the message of your shoes
Facing up but carrying
The passage that you're making
A short distance now
But continued and continuing.
If your mantle ever
Billows out around you
As you saunter from here
To there, and in the shadows
Beneath that cloak I see
A little bit of secret truth
Of course I will wonder
As I tread different bricks
On my own walk.
I see that your bricks
Are like the ones beneath me
And my own black mantle
Billows, though I try to hold it closed,
Casts light into my own shadows.
I both worry
And hope
That you might see.
The bricks you amble down
Take the message of your shoes
Facing up but carrying
The passage that you're making
A short distance now
But continued and continuing.
If your mantle ever
Billows out around you
As you saunter from here
To there, and in the shadows
Beneath that cloak I see
A little bit of secret truth
Of course I will wonder
As I tread different bricks
On my own walk.
I see that your bricks
Are like the ones beneath me
And my own black mantle
Billows, though I try to hold it closed,
Casts light into my own shadows.
I both worry
And hope
That you might see.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Spiritual Diagnosis
In the morning
I get this shot of joy
It lasts for about a half an hour
And then fades.
I know what it is:
It's the light.
I live in a cave.
No windows in my office.
The sun goes down before I go home.
It's only in the mornings that I see the sun.
I need a vista
I need golden light
I talk about sunlight on leaves
And people think it's just something I like.
It really isn't!
I get this shot of joy
It lasts for about a half an hour
And then fades.
I know what it is:
It's the light.
I live in a cave.
No windows in my office.
The sun goes down before I go home.
It's only in the mornings that I see the sun.
I need a vista
I need golden light
I talk about sunlight on leaves
And people think it's just something I like.
It really isn't!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Going Out on a Limb Here...
Nobody thrives on abuse
It doesn't make you stronger
Dishing it out is not power
Taking it is not strength
I've made that mistake
Learned that thinking too well
That costs too much
And it keeps costing.
The Buddha sat under a baobab.
What is power to a tree?
The power of a tree, I think, is
to take in light and
to make nourishment for itself.
What is strength for a tree?
The strength of a tree is
to give shade,
to grow tall and spread out its limbs,
to give small things a home, and
to grow fruit.
It doesn't make you stronger
Dishing it out is not power
Taking it is not strength
I've made that mistake
Learned that thinking too well
That costs too much
And it keeps costing.
The Buddha sat under a baobab.
What is power to a tree?
The power of a tree, I think, is
to take in light and
to make nourishment for itself.
What is strength for a tree?
The strength of a tree is
to give shade,
to grow tall and spread out its limbs,
to give small things a home, and
to grow fruit.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Great Tunes
I hear birds outside!
There is the sound of hope
On a March morning.
Black snow piled high in my yard
Ice on the sidewalks
Freezing in this house most all of the time
But right outside
On the power lines
I hear a promise.
There is the sound of hope
On a March morning.
Black snow piled high in my yard
Ice on the sidewalks
Freezing in this house most all of the time
But right outside
On the power lines
I hear a promise.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Confession #1
Anyone would think that maybe there was a way
To ask for the things we need
Without giving ourselves over to the worst
Feelings of inadequacy.
I am a person who has felt self loathing
my whole life.
I am a person who realized she was smart,
But didn't feel like she was doing what she should
And because of that
Because I felt that way
I deprived myself of things I needed
Because I thought I didn't deserve them.
We all deserve happiness.
We all deserve to have our feelings acknowledged.
Me included
As hard as that is to accept sometimes.
To ask for the things we need
Without giving ourselves over to the worst
Feelings of inadequacy.
I am a person who has felt self loathing
my whole life.
I am a person who realized she was smart,
But didn't feel like she was doing what she should
And because of that
Because I felt that way
I deprived myself of things I needed
Because I thought I didn't deserve them.
We all deserve happiness.
We all deserve to have our feelings acknowledged.
Me included
As hard as that is to accept sometimes.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Channel 5 Said
They must silence.
They must fashion
For themselves
A life of small things.
When they are not special
When nobody could have been
Then without our eyes
They must move on.
Then, you know,
Then we asked ourselves
As they showed themselves
What it is for us:
A time for many
As one of many
When all of us
Can praise each other.
They must fashion
For themselves
A life of small things.
When they are not special
When nobody could have been
Then without our eyes
They must move on.
Then, you know,
Then we asked ourselves
As they showed themselves
What it is for us:
A time for many
As one of many
When all of us
Can praise each other.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Voice Poem
I open my mouth
There's a gateway.
From the inside: out.
From the outside: in.
Way in.
I breathe in. I feel my voice engage.
I am at war with the sound
I make when I sing.
My voice fails me, but I strive to reconcile with it.
My gift.
The instrument of God, whom I also war with.
I have faith (but not in God.)
I could never open my mouth if I didn't.
My voice and I will win this war together.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
What's inside
There's a point about halfway through this poem where I just lift off the ground and hover in the air for about 30 seconds.
Who could look at a kid this age and think that such language could come out of his mouth? He didn't write it, and may not understand it fully, but it speaks to him strongly enough that he can say it and mean something by it. I hope what you get out of this is what I get out of it: The human spirit contains much that can't be explained by outward appearances.
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