So, this morning something happened that struck me as significant. It was very minor, but signaled to me that something in my emotional makeup has changed.
I was riding the bus to work, as ever. And as always, as we neared Harvard Square, the bus I was on became seriously crowded. At one point, a woman plopped herself down on the seat next to me, kind of half sitting on me. Now, in the past, this would have put me into a hellish state. I would not get up, but I would be hugging anything nearby opposite my fellow passenger to leverage myself away from her, I would be sweating profusely, which would only make things worse, and inside I would be wishing as hard as I could to be anywhere, anyone but who and where I was.
Today I just laughed a little to my self and scooted over a little. No self-loathing, no wishing myself out of my skin, no sweat. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized I'd never had that reaction before. It made me really happy.
These changes I'm going through -- they're having such a profound positive effect. Today I had a chance to really appreciate it.
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