I agree totally with what is said at this site, and it doesn't take me much reflection to be clear that none of these bogus reasons are why I'm transitioning. I'm not going to go into my reasons here, that's not the point I want to make.
I do want to make the point, however, that some transpeople, with perfectly legitimate reasons for transitioning, don't have successful transitions. It's something I'm sorting through right now, as I proceed towards the nearing date that I start living full time as a woman. The most striking example I can come up with is the story of Christine Daniels, who is one of the most famous transpeople of the last decade, and who committed suicide months after detransitioning and resuming writing under the name Mike Penner.
Another famous example of an unsuccessful transition is the first one listed at the original web page I linked to, the case that first showed me that transitioning was possible (no, it didn't put the idea in my head, it was more a confirmation of something I've felt since even before I can remember), that of Renee Richards.
Reasons listed there for her unsuccessful transition are a true cautionary tale for all of us who are considering switching to the other gender.
I have felt the attraction of being the center of attention based on this thing I'm doing. Ultimately, though, I find that I really don't want to be the center of attention. In a way, I want to be totally ignored and unremarkable for this. I don't want to be fussed over, and I don't want to call attention to myself. I'm doing this to be more comfortable and to feel more a part of things than I have previously. As a guy, I have always felt alienated and separate. In the last months, as I've been looking more and more like I think I should, people who don't know me see me as female. And it's not magical to them, and I constantly remind myself that over half the population is female, and it's more than fine with me. Things just seem right in the world in a way they never did before.
One expectation I think some transwomen have is that they will be hot and sexy. Dude, I'm fifty. I think I look better the more female I look, but I'm under no illusions. I'm overweight, I have a body that's been "ravaged by testosterone" for all the years of my life except this last one, and that leaves a rather all-encompassing mark. One of my great anxieties about transition before I started was all the ways that my body has been affected by that. I am so encouraged that most of the time, strangers see me the way I want to be seen. I'm still a work in progress, very much so, but I am quite optimistic for the success of my own transition.
I have a very good friend who cautioned me, when I first started this process, to not call attention to myself, and I have to say that her advice was really wise. Even now, when I'm really sure that this is right for me, I think not making a big deal of this has been the right choice.
I'm keeping my expectations modest, I'm trying to make this make sense in my life, and I have the extra fortune of being surrounded by very supportive friends. I also have quite a few examples of successful transitions to model on.
I hope, if you find this blog because I keyword "transgender" at the end of these posts, that you have a similar support system and realistic expectations. Please seek out those good role models (they are out there!) and seek your best, most authentic self.
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