A random statement

I am a Buddhist and an atheist (or possibly a pantheist). I believe in the big bang as the original creative force and that things and people and places and ideas have divine aspects but that things evolve along both mundane and mystical paths. My relationship with God was soured by being raised among Southern Baptists, who distrusted joy and feared and hated difference. I was sure different! For me the thought of an old white guy in the sky who built, owns, and controls everything is odious, especially when, in my understanding, humans created God.

Important Cultural Information

The spork, according to someone who would know such things, is the sacred symbol of my people.

Project Runway meta

I have not had time to blog about each successive episode of PR. I think episode 9 or 10 was just on, and the last ep I blogged was 4. I can go back and do them all, but is it worth it? maybe it is, I haven't decided. The main issue is time, but I also haven't been happy with how the drama has gotten in the way of the design part of the show. there have been a couple of weeks where I have liked very few of the looks lately, and I feel like that shouldn't be the case, especially this late in the game. If I can find the time, though, maybe I will go back and blog some of the episodes from my DVR.

Status Report

Today's kind of a big day. Kind of. There's bigger coming.

But today, I talk to my bosses about being Diane at work. I'm thinking it will be a good conversation (I think both R. and K. are awesome!) but it's making me a little nervous. I'll report back on the meeting after, though it may take me a couple of days to get to it. Today & tomorrow are pretty chock-full.

A little story I'd like to relate briefly: I was at the bus stop for the commute in, and this older guy (probably in his 60s) in his big boat of a Mercedes convertible, top down, blasting the Grateful Dead, is obviously just enjoying the morning & his music. At some point, I get the feeling he's checking me out. "Really?" I think. "Me?" I kind of mentally shrug. OK, that's cool. I assume it's because I was the only female object in viewing distance, but I'll take it. It felt good, actually.

Which brings me back to my situation today. I basically wear what I would call low-key female dress these days. I've talked about the t-shirt and jeans thing before, and that's what I have on today. Usually, I'm in this little space in the basement with my immediate supervisor, D, and what I wear doesn't matter so much. K. wants to meet in her office, so I'm thinking I may have misjudged a little. I tend to worry about what I'm wearing, so I'm nervous for that reason. I'll ask D what she thinks.

Another topic: My life has been really full lately, I get on these jags where there's a lot going on socially & tonight I have a couple of medical appointments & tomorrow I have a discussion group thing, so I'm borrowing a few minutes to make this post, but it's going to take me probably until Friday to get to episode 3 of Runway. I'll probably blog both 3 and 4 on Friday.

That's it! Stay cool, people! :)

Random odd comments from the last few days

1. "Your voice sounds like Candace Bergen's"

2. "You're an O. G., so you've got experience."

3. "Do these pills make my butt look big?"

Attributions: 1. Innocent but very large boy who I think was trying to hit on me. 2. Manic girl who was yammering compulsively to anyone whether they appeared to be listening or not at a bus stop. 3. me

Short, Apologetic Meta

Sorry it's been a week since I've posted.

It's actually funny, given the track record of this blog, for me to make such an apology, but I guess it's an apology to myself more than anything. I have had quite the week, though.

On Monday at 5am I had emergency hernia repair surgery, so at least part of why I haven't been here is that I've been occupied with other things. Feeling much better now, thank you, so back to dithering and ruminating on my various interests.

I have a few ideas for posts, but no time at the moment, so they will have to wait a few hours. I just wanted to pop in and so now I have.

Cheers!

Just a little life stuff

So, this morning something happened that struck me as significant. It was very minor, but signaled to me that something in my emotional makeup has changed.

I was riding the bus to work, as ever. And as always, as we neared Harvard Square, the bus I was on became seriously crowded. At one point, a woman plopped herself down on the seat next to me, kind of half sitting on me. Now, in the past, this would have put me into a hellish state. I would not get up, but I would be hugging anything nearby opposite my fellow passenger to leverage myself away from her, I would be sweating profusely, which would only make things worse, and inside I would be wishing as hard as I could to be anywhere, anyone but who and where I was.

Today I just laughed a little to my self and scooted over a little. No self-loathing, no wishing myself out of my skin, no sweat. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized I'd never had that reaction before. It made me really happy.

These changes I'm going through -- they're having such a profound positive effect. Today I had a chance to really appreciate it.

I'm Gonna...

...do a redesign on this blog coming up here. My blog idol and one of his regular commenters were talking about how light colored text on a dark background is hard on the eyes, and I can see the point. (It's never been a problem for me...) I've put lots of photos here & I kinda like the photos being on a black background, but I keep thinking I wanna do more writing for the blog, so I want to make it a little easier to read whatever I actually do write. So, hopefully over the weekend, I'll get to that long-promised CD review writing assignment and a little playing around with the blog template.

And now, back to whatever.

TIme Gets Away From Me, Again...

Seriously. I will do that review. Promise!

Metablogging Maybe

I am thinking that I want to abandon the Facebooks. I'm way addicted, and it's not a good thing. Also, I would love to have all the random blogging I do in a bunch of different places appear in one place, and have that place be focussed on my writing. That was always the purpose here anyway, so I am thinking that I will start bringing that blogging impulse I have to these pages more of the time, if not (and probably not) exclusively.

One thing I've been thinking of doing is music reviews. Lots of my friends have these "modern music bores me" outbursts. I also note that most music reviewers these days scrupulously avoid having anything substantive to say about the music they review. It'll be a challenge to not fall into those patterns, should I follow through with this latest whim. I think I can be of help, though. I have pretty wide ranging tastes and I try to get under the surface of particular things I listen to. The amount of time I spend thinking about music these days actually exceeds the amount of time I spend listening to or playing music, for sure.

I won't write about huge volumes of music. I think that I'll try to assign myself at least one review a week for the next upcoming little while. I'll try to post something this weekend. Cool! I get to go CD shopping tonight! :)

One Hour Ahead

Means one hour closer to senior discounts.

untitled

Too Damn Late -- Sarah Palin's Special Comment

She's no Keith Olbermann



Video by madduane, written by Mark Day.

Mark's words are definitely written from a guy point of view, I think juxtaposing a liberal straight guy's views on a puppet of Sarah Palin is illuminating; at least it is to me.

top ten words I've used in Facebook statuses in 2009.

1) today - used 49 times
2) work - used 33 times
3) more - used 30 times
4) new - used 29 times
5) boxes - used 29 times
6) think - used 28 times
7) thinking - used 28 times
8) good - used 26 times
9) really - used 25 times
10) tonight - used 24 times

As a short, ungrammatical paragraph:

Today, work. More new boxes think. Thinking good, really, tonight.

More Metablogging

I've been working on a video, so a lot of my blogging time has been taken up with the shooting & editing involved. I figure to be done with it tomorrow (I'll post it here so you can see what I've been doing) and then I can start on the project here that I've been wanting to do.

If anybody's actually out there paying attention, thanks for hanging in!

Still Here!

Usually a post like this means that it's almost over: a lame attempt to revive something the blogger feels they *should* be doing, right before they give up entirely.

I, however, have achieved new purpose. Watch this space!

All I Can Say Is...

poopy time fun shapes.

Maggie Found This

And I had to go figure out my score. Here it is!

Me as a female Simpsons character

A Mix For Today

Nothing in particular of importance here, just a mix I made out of my iTunes offa the work computer...

1. Together -- William Shatner
2. Rags and Tatters -- Wreckless Eric
3. Heard It On the X -- ZZ Top
4. Powers From the Queen -- Sp3ccylad
5. Tear Stained Eye -- Son Volt
6. Gonna Make It Alone -- Ronnie and the Prophets
7. That's All I Know Right Now -- Neon Boys
8. Dead Leaves and the Dirty Grass -- Redd Blood Cells
9. I Don't Care -- The Ramones
10. Nude -- Radiohead
11. Wot's... Uh, the Deal -- Pink Floyd
12. Makes Me Happy -- Perfect
13. On The Rocks -- Lez Zeppelin
14. Space Walk -- Lemon Jelly