Where Am I?

I am not here all that often, though I've been finding motivation lately. I'm on the web a lot, though, so where might you see more of me?

You can find a lot more content than I put here at my Facebook, though my privacy settings may frustrate the casual browser. Send me a friend requests, though. I'll likely add you.

I also have a twitter, and my handle is @transcreativity.

Those are probably the best places to see what I post on the web.

Liturgy For the Day After They Announced the End of the World

It's beautiful.
It's not ours.

Your stupid smart phone
Times a billion
Is destroying us.

Your dirty car
Times a billion
Is destroying us.

Your damned lies
Times a billion
Are destroying us.

It's beautiful.
Can't you see?

The sun, golden!
The river, dancing!
The trees, like shamans!
     Waving!
     Embracing!
     Staying!
     Swaying!

Us.
We're beautiful
We don't even see it.

The air.
You can't see it.
Still, it's beautiful.

Dance in it.
Glow in it.
Love it.
Embrace it.

God damn it,
Save us.
Love us.
Love me.
I love you.

Accept this gift.
Give it back.
Give it forward.

It's beautiful.

Damn!

Damn! Damn!
I missed the bus now.
Damn! Damn!
I missed two busses.

Standing here in the snow outside, I
Know that I will be late to work now.
Can't you see me pelt down the sidewalk
Praying for the change of signals?

Damn! Damn!
I missed that damned bus!
Damn! Damn!
There's two together!
Damn! Damn!
Maybe the second one?
Damn! Damn!
No, the second one dashed by.

Snow flakes reach their destinations.
Sun is blocked by clouds of snow.
Under the snow there must be crocus.
Under the ground there must be tulips.
I can't see them, they must be there.
All I'm seeing is the falling snow.
Damn it! When's the springtime coming?
Damn it! When's the next bus coming?

Damn! Damn!
I missed that bus now.
Damn! Damn!
There's a van getting towed now.
Damn! Damn!
I feel sad for them, but
Damn! Damn!
Here comes the bus now.

Confession #2

I need to sing.
That is how I'm built.
I've sung since I was little
And that was a long time ago.

I need to sing.
When I don't do it intentionally
My soul will sing to me.
My ears will latch on to any song
And I will sing it back to myself
Until the next song comes along.

I need to sing,
But as I say so often,
I hate my voice.
My voice is counter to who I am.
My voice sings in a way that
     No longer sounds like me,
     No longer communicates my soul
     But is what the voice that I have can do.

I need to sing,
So I sing in other ways.
I sing through my computer keyboard.
I sing by smiling and walking a little faster
In the morning down the street
To the bus stop.
I sing by telling my sweetie
That I love her
Over and over
Every five minutes
To the point where I'm annoying.

I need to sing, so
I sing ridiculous songs,
     Letting the humor shine my light,
     The irony itself twisting my pain
     Into a lopsided smile.

I need to sing
Because there's too much
That can't be expressed in any other way.

I need to sing
Because I know that the universe resonates
To the sound of a singing voice.

I need to sing
Because I also need to dance
With you
And singing as you dance
Is the best music.

Bricks

Note: This was written yesterday.

The bricks you amble down
Take the message of your shoes
Facing up but carrying
The passage that you're making
A short distance now
But continued and continuing.

If your mantle ever
Billows out around you
As you saunter from here
To there, and in the shadows
Beneath that cloak I see
A little bit of secret truth

Of course I will wonder
As I tread different bricks
On my own walk.

I see that your bricks
Are like the ones beneath me
And my own black mantle
Billows, though I try to hold it closed,
Casts light into my own shadows.

I both worry
And hope
That you might see.

Spiritual Diagnosis

In the morning
I get this shot of joy
It lasts for about a half an hour
And then fades.

I know what it is:
It's the light.

I live in a cave.
No windows in my office.
The sun goes down before I go home.
It's only in the mornings that I see the sun.

I need a vista
I need golden light
I talk about sunlight on leaves
And people think it's just something I like.

It really isn't!

Going Out on a Limb Here...

Nobody thrives on abuse
It doesn't make you stronger
Dishing it out is not power
Taking it is not strength

I've made that mistake
Learned that thinking too well
That costs too much
And it keeps costing.

The Buddha sat under a baobab.

What is power to a tree?
The power of a tree, I think, is
     to take in light and
     to make nourishment for itself.

What is strength for a tree?
The strength of a tree is
     to give shade,
     to grow tall and spread out its limbs,
     to give small things a home, and
     to grow fruit.

Great Tunes

I hear birds outside!
There is the sound of hope
On a March morning.

Black snow piled high in my yard
Ice on the sidewalks
Freezing in this house most all of the time

But right outside
On the power lines
I hear a promise.

Confession #1

Anyone would think that maybe there was a way
To ask for the things we need
Without giving ourselves over to the worst
Feelings of inadequacy.

I am a person who has felt self loathing
my whole life.
I am a person who realized she was smart,
But didn't feel like she was doing what she should

And because of that
Because I felt that way
I deprived myself of things I needed
Because I thought I didn't deserve them.

We all deserve happiness.
We all deserve to have our feelings acknowledged.
Me included
As hard as that is to accept sometimes.

Channel 5 Said

They must silence.
They must fashion
For themselves
A life of small things.

When they are not special
When nobody could have been
Then without our eyes
They must move on.

Then, you know,
Then we asked ourselves
As they showed themselves
What it is for us:

A time for many
As one of many
When all of us
Can praise each other.