Oh, Family. Oh, Love.

Q: How did your family take it when you came out? If you are not out, why aren't you?

Yeah, they know about me now. The reaction has been predictably mixed and to some degree inscrutable. I expect I will know more in coming weeks when I travel to Texas and then Colorado to visit family around my Mom's birthday. My brother Michael was immediately supportive. Mom sounded supportive at first (with a few caveats), then took a nosedive around the time that Chaz Bono came out, but has come around to being fairly accepting.

Family in Texas is a little bit of a mystery to me, they're all very hardcore Christians and I haven't heard much from most of them, with the exception of one cousin who is guardedly welcoming. I have pushed the issue with her probably a little more than is necessary (talking about sin, etc.) but in my mind it comes down to are we both the same people we've always been? That's hard to answer. I think on some levels we are, though we have both been through a lot of life since we both lived in the same town as kids and she was my favorite person in the entire world. I just can't help but look forward to seeing her, no matter how anxious I am about it.

The rest of the family there really is an unknown quantity. None of them have reached out to me, but to be fair, I haven't reached out either. In fact, I realize that I am not officially out to many of them for that reason. My sense is that right now I am not well thought of in certain circles, but I won't know that for sure until I cross that Rubicon.

Colorado family is somewhat a different story. There is the same Christian history and activity, but it's not quite as pervasive there, and I know that in some circles I have been and will be welcomed. There are, however, those in that branch of the family who have not sought me out and likely won't. I could expend a lot of energy fretting and regretting, but I am not going to. I will talk to and, if allowed, embrace any and all of them.

I'll be more upset if my mom or my brother are taking any flak on my account. That will be harder for me to forgive.